Last night I awoke in the wee hours of the morning as I sometimes do. Usually, it is because some matter in life is weighing on me and disturbing my thoughts and rest. But last night it was due to watching a Zombie movie before bedtime. Not the smartest thing to do. Lesson learned. PS I survived the Zombies. Barely.
Anyway, I walked into the kitchen to have a drink of water. And I noticed the moon glistening on the water creating a pathway paved with diamonds. The sparkling path guiding the eye to a pool of light. A spotlight awaiting its performer. The stage set.
It reminded me of a time in my life about five years ago. I was walking one of my daily treks. Down the railroad tracks. It’s quiet. Me, the birds, an occasional squirrel or bear and my trusty beagle. It’s a time where I gather my thoughts. Write lyrics to songs. Have light bulb moments. Come up with new ideas. Or have a chat with God. On this particular day, it was the latter. You see, at this point in my life, I felt lost. Scared. I didn’t know what to do with my life. I had recently quit all the musical things I was involved with because I felt I was being taken advantage of. And now I had nothing to do.
I was almost paralyzed with fear.
Afraid I would or had taken a wrong step. I was too old to take a wrong step. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn. I was crying. I asked God to show me the way. To help me figure out my path. There was no answer and I felt my pleas had fallen on deaf ears.
That night I awoke in the middle of the night as my fears were weighing on my heart. I walked into my living room to drink some water when I saw the moon. The beautiful full moon shining on the water making a clear path to its own pool of light. I had my answer and I felt calm.
You see I realized at that moment that I needed to stop worrying. My path was set. It was there. Straight. Beautiful and it even ended in a spotlight – waiting for me to arrive and sing my song. I only needed to step forward. Take that first step. The one that was in front of me. I didn’t need to worry about the end result. Just the step in front of me. I could do that. I needed to let go. Stop trying to control everything.
The journey was beautiful too. Sparkling. More beautiful than the end of the path even. So enjoy it. Relish it. Go for it.
So I did. I had an idea for a show about the late singer Eva Cassidy. I wrote the first draft that weekend. The show was up and running only four months later. That show gave me the courage to tell my own story. Write my own songs. Record my own album. I don’t know where the future leads. All I know is my only job is to continue to do what is in front of me. No more. No less. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. But there is a lesson to learn always. And as long as I keep stepping forward my path glistens.
So, for you dear reader. Are you feeling lost? Do you sometimes wonder,
"What should I do next? Do I have a purpose in this life?"
Why of course you do! It’s a beautiful path of diamonds. It sparkles and shines and is waiting for you to take your first step. And that is all you need to do. Take a step. Whatever is in front of you. Is it a course? Or starting that novel you’ve always wanted to write? Or joining a choir? Or volunteering at the local shelter? Or taking some lessons? Or …. Only you know for sure. And you do know. It’s in there. Listen. Your heart will tell you.