Next week will mark the one year anniversary of when my big sister Sheila passed away. 

My big sis 

I didn't realize someone who was terminally ill could pass away suddenly, but my sister did. We knew she didn't have a long time left, but I had seen people pass away from Cancer before and she was nowhere near 'that' point. She had attended one of my concerts only 4 days earlier. I talked to her on the phone the night before. We told each other "I love you." I remember saying, stop fighting sis. Just let go and enjoy the time you have. She said "I'll try." The next morning she was gone. She had a massive stroke and left us forever. 

I'm going to be in the studio recording some of the beds for my upcoming CD "Plush Red Chair" on December 16th. The anniversary. Somehow it seems appropriate. My sis was my biggest fan. She came to everything I did. She picked me up when I was feeling down. She told me to get back at it when I felt like giving up. She didn't let me slack off one iota. 

If she were still here she would be ecstatic about the recording. She would want to read lyrics. Critique them in her gentle way. Hear the tunes in their roughest form. She'd be sharing everything on Facebook and telling her friends all about what was going on. She'd be so proud of me. 

I'll still go to call her sometimes and realize I cant. She's gone. But for the most part I am ok with it all. I'm not really sure why as I was very close to my sister. Perhaps its due to the amount of loss I've endured in my lifetime - there has been a lot. Perhaps its because i sobbed for three days straight and got it all out. Or perhaps 2016 had enough stresses of its own so as to not allow me to fully grieve. Whatever it is I'm doing OK about it all.  I'm looking forward to next week. For I know that, even though it is a sad anniversary and I miss my sister, I know that she will be looking down on me going "Yay sis! I'm so happy for you." and that in itself makes me happy.