I was born with a stubborn mindset.
My stubbornness is a bone of contention to some, but for me, it is a blessing. My persistence moves me forward when every other part of me screams to stop.
Our mindset is a big deal. Although I was born with a ‘tude, life kicked it out of me. For the longest time, I allowed people to crush me. And for the longest time, I didn’t realize I allowed it. I thought stuff happened to me. “Why oh why?” I lamented. I was a magnet for drama. It followed me like a shadow and turned my life into a Country song. I never took responsibility for my own actions. Granted, when I was a kid, I had an excuse. But into my 50’s? That’s all on me.
Discovering my self-worth, or lack thereof, was my aha moment. It’s when good old stubbornness showed her face and said, “No more!” that I saw the light. Now, as my journey continues, life reveals other ways I limit myself and my happiness. And there are many. I doubt I am alone in this struggle. We all do it. Through a myriad of thoughts and habitual behaviours.
We limit our success.
- “I’ll never get to do that.
- I didn’t go to University so I can’t _____. (fill in the blank).
- I’m too old to _______ (fill in the blank).
- People will laugh at me
We limit our finance capacity.
- I can’t afford that. I’ll never own a ____________ (fill in the blank).
- We don’t have the money to ______________. (fill in the blank).
- I wish I could go to _____________, but.
We limit ourselves in our relationships.
- “things will never change.” “It is the way it is.”
- “This is my lot in life.”
- “I have a poor choice in men/women.”
- “I can never seem to find the right _____.”
The usual suspects saunter in
- I can’t. It never.
- I’ll never.
- I wish.
- I doubt.
- Only other people.
- Plan B.
I’ve said it before in my blog – I am a slow learner when it comes to life lessons. Oops. Mindshift. I WAS a slow learner. But NOT ANYMORE! This year I had a gargantuan mind-shift. When I took responsibility for my own life, everything changed. When I realized it was up to me to flourish, everything changed. When I realized I had a choice in my response to life, everything changed.
How did everything change? I felt better. Instead of life’s dramas coxswaining me here and there like a cow roaming in a field. I knew I was in control of my reactions. I choose how life affects me. Personal growth is now important to me. I choose to be better every day. I choose to learn something new, every day.
The realization of the impact my attitude has on my life hit home. When I’m a ‘negative ninny’ I’m down. Singing the blues. I imitate Eeyore. A little raincloud rests over my head. I haven’t the motivation to brush my hair, let alone write a blog. But when I change my thoughts around. When I choose to react in a different way, things shift. A ten on the Richter Scale shift. A Divalicious! shift.
Mind shifts take time to adhere. But when they do, they stick like super glue. Once you ‘get it’, you’re on it. You catch your Ninny self in the act all the time! Nah ah. Not on my watch!
For instance, while I type this blog my ancient cat Oliver takes a chair in my office. He has a meow that would put a Heavy Metal Band band to shame and won’t stop meowing until he has your attention. My first reaction is to get annoyed. He seldom knows what he wants, but keeps meowing anyway. He is, after all, a feline. I look over at him. He looks at me. Skin and bones. He’s 18 years old. Walter Matthau reincarnated as an orange tabby. I make a conscious decision to change my mindset. I remember all the years he’s been with us. What a wonderful cat he’s been. I know he won't be with us much longer. I pick him up. Give him a good pet. He purrs. I share a little moment with him and tell him I love him. Before long he’s had enough (he is a cat after all). The Hallmark moment ends abruptly and I can get back to my blog. And look! New content. Thanks Oliver.
If I hadn’t made the shift, not only would the above paragraph be absent. So would some of my sanity. He’d continue to whine. I’d be frustrated and say, louder than I should, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”. My veins would pulse in my neck like a cartoon character. And he’d still be meowing. How do I know this? Uh ... 15 minutes earlier.... Instead, he’s curled up next to the beagle. She’s snoring. Life is perfect.
I’ve worked on my mindset in areas of money, my music, my blog and my circumstances. Without being all Hippy, and sensing your aura while I hold onto a crystal, the world of positive energy is a much nicer place to reside. The rent is cheap and it seldom rains there. The trick is finding other roommates who are hip to your vibe.
I’m in no way perfect. Far from it. But I’m glad I discovered you can change your mindset. I’m re-wiring my brain. It's taking time. But I'm re-thinking my thinking and I think I like it.
What about you? Are you a “Negative Ninny” sometimes? Or have you limited yourself in the past and didn’t realize it? I’d love to hear about it.
PS – If you would like to help me out with my music career, you can, by following me on Spotify. Of course, streaming some of my songs and adding your favourites to one of your playlists is cool too. Thank you!