Why do I do this?
Why don’t I give up?
Life would be so much easier if I were normal.
I have this conversation with myself at least once a week. The lure of a normal life calls to me.
What would life be like spending my money on travel instead of recording? Or being on social media to connect with friends instead of promoting something.
And then I wonder if I’m even making a difference. Why was I given this gift? Maybe it’s not a gift. Maybe I suck, and I don’t realize it. But music is a part of me—a part of my soul. When I’m on stage, I feel the most at home. The connection with the audience is like nothing I’ve experienced before.
But I’m tired of striving and getting nowhere.
We’ve all been there at some time or another. The struggle seems so strenuous that you feel like a voice singing in the wilderness. No one to hear you but the vulture circling above you, and he’s wearing headphones.
Is there an oasis ahead? Or is it more of the arid desert blistering your ambition in its searing heat?
I’ve experienced the oasis—the beauty of an attentive audience and glowing comments from a fan of my work. And my cup overflows, and I’m ready to tackle the world. Nothing can stop me—until the grassy path I’m on dries, and I’m in the desert again—parched.
I don’t know the answer. All I know is I keep pulling myself up and trying again. Why? Because I can’t seem to not do it.
Music is as much a part of my life as my morning coffee. Believe me, I’ve tried. Like Michael Corleone, just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.
It doesn’t make it easy, and none of us knows what the future holds. All I know is that my only job is to keep taking it one step at a time, so I do.
Sometimes, those steps are made by pure determination. Or I might take a little break to regain my strength or have a good cry. I’ll go for a walk or read the kind things others have said about my work in the past. The most important thing is to keep taking a step, even if it’s tiny, like writing a blog post.
So tell me, what do you struggle with? How do you keep going?