Are you a complainer? Do you have the complaints department on speed dial? I know I can be at times. I complain about the government. And not my own country! I can complain about finances. A lack of things to do. Having too many things to do. I complain about my weight, my hair, my age, how I'm feeling, and a host of other things. As I read all this I realize I’m a complainer. Call me Complaining Cayla.
I had a conversation with someone recently, OK it was an argument. We had had the conversation several times before. It always turned into an argument. It was about a situation I have no control over. And yet this person would complain to me about it over and over and over again. I found my chest starting to tighten and my mood changed completely. I went from being in a good mood to a crappy one in an instant. All because someone else was complaining to me. And it got me to thinking. What is the use of complaining anyway? What value does it have? It’s a serious question. Oh if you’re hanging out with a fellow complainer it feeds the insidious beast inside. But when you stop and think about it, complaining serves no useful purpose. It has no value. It does not change one thing. It makes you feel awful. You’re left swirling in negativity. Which is bad for your health and attracts nothing but more negativity. What’s the point? Let me answer that for you. There is none.
We're programmed to complain. We first learned it from our parents. We heard them complain about work, paying the mortgage and the like. We watch the news that feeds off all that is sensational. Social media is full of it. We’re intolerant. Angry. It’s not doing us any good as a race.
Maya Angelou said.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
What if we stopped? What would happen if we stopped complaining? What would happen if you and I decided today that we weren’t going to complain anymore? How would our lives change? Would they change for the better? I think they might.
Imagine, if something wasn’t going right and we chose to not complain but to take action. Or to flip the switch and instead of complaining express what we’re grateful for.
I remember complaining at the end of the year to my husband about my Spotify account. I did the 2018 year-end report. You know the one everyone posted “Thank you for the 250,000 streams!” And the number of hours people listened to their music. When I did mine I laughed... or cried... I'm not telling. I looked at it and thought I should post it as a joke. Stating “Look at me, I’m so successful.”
And then something inside me said: “Why are you being so ungrateful?”
I looked at the numbers again. Although they weren’t huge like other artists there was plenty to be grateful for. People that I don’t know from all over the world listened to my music in 2018. From 70 different places. How cool is that? When I realized there may be a woman out there who listened to Divalicious and felt stronger I felt good. It's the reason I sing, isn't it? Yes, it is. Suddenly the minuscule numbers didn’t feel so minuscule. They felt Divalicious. I flipped the switch on my complaining and felt better. More grateful.
There are always two ways to look at things. The glass half empty and the glass half full. When my daughter looks at her bills she is grateful. For what you ask? The credit card company trusted her enough to give her money in advance. She has heat. She has a house.
This world is a crazy place and there are so many things that are out of our control. I can’t do anything about the government except vote. We can complain about the government not taking care of the poor, or we can do something. We can help someone who is poor, or alone, or sick. That action beats words any day of the week.
There are times when an attitude adjustment is required. I realize the argument I had earlier escalated because I reacted. And when it escalated I felt horrible for the rest of the evening. Where, if I let it alone I would have had a much better evening. All I had to do was move on to something else. Not react, or feed the negativity. Like Maya says, if you can’t change something, change your attitude.
This week I vow to work at not complaining.
That includes not reacting to other people who complain. I won’t be perfect. I’m sure. But I want to change. I don’t want to be Complaining Cayla anymore.
Would you like to join me on this journey to stop complaining and be more grateful for what we have? Let’s take action where we can. Change our attitude where we can’t. And let’s make this world a more positive and happy place. I’m in. Are you?
Hey! If you want to help me out with my Spotify Account you can by clicking this link and giving me a follow. Thank you! I’m grateful.